How To Lose A Husband In 5 Simple Steps

I would like to start off by saying, you cannot lose someone who does not want to be lost. I mean, look at Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced 'Bouquet') from Keeping Up Appearances. That old bat has managed to stay married. So anyway, in the unfortunate event that you are married to one of those you can lose, here are 5 easy steps to lose the bugger.

1. Greetings are overrated. When he comes home after a long day, fill him in on the latest 'news'.

2. Motivate him to do better than his peers. You know the saying, behind every successful man...

3. Always dress warmly for bed. There is nothing sexy like a healthy woman who is not suffering from pneumonia.

4. Answer his questions as honestly as possible. A good wife always gives her husband something to think about.

5. Always have a hot meal ready for him, somewhere.

News Reporter

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