#7 Everything You Should Know

Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce or separation is hectic. You think you know everything about men. Seriously, you have been through a lot with your ex and you convince yourself that you can figure men out. Experience you say. Well, I thought I did. You know, have men figured out. Clearly, I did not. But, I have done my research and I have all the answers to the questions you may have about men and dating. I realised it does not get easier with age or experience. Luckily you have me to tread the murky waters and come out with solutions! 

I had lunch with my favourite village mate the other week. I like this guy. He tells me things the way they are. (Plus, he reads everything I write, thank you man) He is one of my trusted ‘sources’. 

“ You can’t tell a woman that Felly!” 

“Why not? We are adults, no?” 

Our pregnant waitress almost throws the menus at us. I let it slide. She is pregnant. But I noticed.  

“She will take off!” 

“But that’s ok. I would rather a man walks up to me and say, ‘I am looking for a drinking buddy’ or ‘I just want the odd round of sex’. This way I have what is important to me. Choice!” 

“ But Felly, why are you assuming we always know what we want?” 

“ Are you ready to order??” Jesus, if this woman was not pregnant. 

Fast forward a couple of days later. I am sitting and wondering about my relationship status. I like to take stock. Besides, it is a new year. According to a certain article, because I am an ENTP, it is possible that I could be in a relationship, but I have forgotten. So this new year, we leave no relationship unturned! 

I send my village mate a text. I have realised there is a certain guy around. I might be in a relationship! We hang out very often. More than once a week. For a drink and some laughs. Nothing physical really. We share jokes, forwards, phone calls about nothing really. When we are together he is concerned about the messages I receive (he is a little jealous). My question to him was, “am I in a relationship? “ 

He replied with a very fast “No.” Hmmm. I decided to ask a couple of men. A survey. This should be fun. The results of my poll will tell you everything you need to know about men and relationships. 

The men over forty all said no. No relationship. In fact, my village mate added that I was free to get another man because there is nothing. 

The men under forty said yes. It is a relationship. The man is taking it slow because he is looking for long term. One man even said that we were seriously dating. Because of the routine. 

So why do the over forty say no? Apparently, they know what they want. One over forty claimed,"Those over forty know what they want and can pick it out immediately." Yet we should not assume that men know what they want. (My village mate’s words. Remember) Meanwhile, I take it that they would rather hang around you because you DO NOT have what they want.(They picked it out immediately). The under forty said yes because the man apparently knows what he wants. (Again remember we were told not to assume men know what they want. Is it clear to them when they are under forty?) The over forty-year-old men said that men under forty do not know what they want, so they hang around hoping what they want will pop up. This is what men want. 

So there you have it, folks. What men want. I think I will buy a cow. I want a relationship with clear roles/benefits. 

(Twenty respondents were used in this survey and I am completely confident in the results!)

News Reporter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest